THIS IS A BLOG FROM 2009- I FELT IT HAS SIGNIFICANCE AND WANTED TO REPOST FIVE YEARS LATER BECAUSE IT STILL HOLDS TRUE!

Knowing your significant other husband, wife or life's partner. At this point in my life I don't think it is entirely possible to really know your partner unless you take the time to know the rest of their  family. I will use my situation as an example.



I love my husband very much but there are times when I could package and ship him strait back to Sweden. I am equally sure he has felt like sending me packing as well. It's just normal in any relationship and those feelings come and go. This is all just a normal part of the marriage package.



We are not perfect and we both understand and except this. But when times are difficult and I don't understand why he does the things he does, I have to stop and think about the situation and about the person he is and where he came from. His world growing up was so vastly different than mine here. He came from a whole different cultural upbringing.



I don't think it is enough to assume you know your partner completely without knowing who their family are, their background or the life they lived before you. David is from Sweden and many times I have to stop and remember that he was not born and raised in the United States, he is going to think and react to certain situations in a manner he is comfortable with; and this usually collides with how I think things should be done.



That is when I am glad to know his mom, sister, aunts, uncles and cousins and a lot about the Swedish way of life. That is when things click and make sense to me. That is also when I have to be the more forgiving of a situation because things are different. His way or my way is not necessarily the right way, we just have to find a happy medium. 




It's been a learning experience for the both of us. David has taught me there are other ways to accomplishing things in life and that the world is not going to come crashing down if we don't do all things my way. (insert cheeky grin)

I give the man credit. I am not easy to be with. I am very stubborn and set in my ways, but he loves me enough and respects me for who I am, differences and all. This is mutually beneficial to growing our relationship with one another, it is give and take in marriage and if one person is doing all the giving or perhaps all the taking, you can bet your last dollar that is a sure recipe for divorce disaster.



David encourages me to be the person I was meant to be and does not criticize me for this; or for the way I do things. If I am to be honest, I cant even say the same about him. This is something he is teaching me to do more gracefully and I am sucking all this information in as we go, thank god he was blessed with the gift of patience because I can be quite impatient!

 

I think learning about my husband and the kind of man he is comes from learning about his mom and his sister. They are wonderful people and I enjoy learning more about them. The kind of mom and sister that would give the shirt off their backs if someone really needed it. They have been kind, caring and very compassionate with me and my children.

Understanding why David is who he is comes easy when you see exactly where he came from. (insert another smile)  I love his family very much, they are so excepting of people, changes and new challenges in life. The kind of people I aspire to be more like. I tell David often how fortunate he is to have them as his family, at which point he reminds me,  they are my family too now :) (big smile)



I think for a long loving and lasting marriage, get to know your partners family if that is possible, spend time with them, talk to them, learn all you can about who they are and where your partner came from. It really will help you to understand them better.



Then, if bad times arise (and they will) you will be better equipped to handle them and have the knowledge to deal with your relationship situations. Family is very important. My mom and sister in law have accepted me, my five children, even my ex husband as part of their family with no questions asked. Unconditional acceptance which I think is a rare thing in this day and age. I thank the good lord for turning me in their direction or them in my direction, or mIRC and David for having the courage to send me that first message. It is my wish for all of us to live a long healthy and happy life for many many years to come!