I've been holding onto this conversation for awhile because I didn't know where to start with talking about the changes in our lives over this past year, but to be honest, it goes back two years for some of us. Things have just escalated over the last year.

My husband is not well and for privacy reasons I wont talk about what is going on. But things are not alright in his world.  He is strong willed man and I know he will come out of this even stronger. It will take some time and healing, but he has all of us standing right behind him giving all our love and support.

Over the last year alone we have lost a sales person to death, lost a family member, lost a building, loss of business, our son moved out of town to get work, our daughter is moving out of town for school, we are watching one of our pets is dying.  A major career change coming up for David.  The weight of the world has been on his shoulders for too long and has taken a toll on his health.

I lost my job. We lost our biggest account at work. We lost so much it has broken us down to some degree, but the biggest toll falls on David and Kelli's shoulders because they seem to be the most wounded of all of us.  

We sadly watch them struggling to get back to a normal life and find that inner peace again. To move forward and feel a sense of security again.  I am not saying the rest of us feel those things, no way, there are some Hugh scars left on most of us for so many unexplainable things that have happened over this time period. We are living in a kind of shock and disbelief hoping to wake up one day and see its all been a very bad nightmare.  

Time heals all? I'm not so certain this is true for everything.  Sometimes things just can't be fixed and we must learn to close the door and lock the past away.  It makes moving forward easier.  I hope and pray my husband and our daughter will find it in themselves to do just that so they can be happier.

Personally speaking for me,  I sit around waiting for the next disappointment, there has been a sting of them over several months.  The only difference from the beginning is they had a much for profound effect on me,  now? nothing surprises me.  I'm just rolling with the punches, the pain of being hit so hard is diminishing over time.

I am putting my faith in God, my husband and my children.  They are all that matter now, I get that and I will do everything in my power to make them understand how very much I cherish each and everyone of them.....