Lights out and tears start. Why can't I get thought this week going to bed and not crying? Last night was another break down.  Poor David is losing so much sleep because of me, but he was so understanding, he some how figured out I was laying there crying and he turned his phone light on and told me to give him my hand, then he kissed it and asked if I wanted to talk. We talked for a long time before we went to sleep for the the night.

Boy Scott really messed up with our family and he is in such a state of denial over it. Thinking time will fix everything is just so misguided but he just don't get or he just don't care anymore.  None of us are sure which one it is to be honest.

The saddest part was David telling me he was hurt and angry over the fact Scott seemed more focused on not being part of our band anymore, even over the fact he was losing his family. Family vs Band? not a hard choice but the band is what he became obsessed with. I guess we the family were expendable!

It made me very sad to see my son walking down the street after work with a big heavy bag of cat food in his arms. NOT his responsibility, but since his father walked off into the sunset leaving his cats behind, someone had to step up to the plate and care for them.

This stuff makes me lose sleep and become upset. He went into the animal shelter and adopted Missy, he has a responsibility to care for her, he also promised me Mimi would have a good home for the remainder of her life and he left her too. He broke promises to everyone! 

I miss my son who moved away from here because his future was chopped off by the bitch. I keep expecting him to walk though the door when I am doing things like he used too, then I remember he is gone now.

All this weighs heavy on my mind, probably too much of the time.  But honesty speaking, my family is my life and the troubles they both brought down on all of us and innocent animals was WAY over the line, way over! 

I hope by the grace of God I can just get over this and NEVER think about it again,  although having five kids with the guy is going to make this a huge challenge!