Scott,

David told me you have been messaging him and also reading my blogs. I need to say something because you have not listened to my many emails over this past year. (almost year) I have no reason to believe you will listen to what I am saying here either.  I am not even sure if you are being upfront with wanting to be friends or if there is another reason.  

I find it really hard to be just friends with you when you have actively functioned as a part of this family for the last 14 years since our divorce. I don't see you as a friend, I see you as family and for me, nothing will ever change that, weather you participate in this family or not anymore. You knew this is how we all saw you, not just me, but David, mom and Maggie too.

This is how it is for me and you share responsibility in that happening, if you never felt you were part of our family you should never have stayed and participated as much as you did. It hurt me so bad when you rejected that at the building. I will never understand how you could sit there and not give me an answer. 

Most people saw us an one of the pioneer families that made things work no matter what, they admired what we managed to hold on to and make work. I see other families doing this today and some even saying we were their inspiration.  Now I see them making it work and being happy too, and us? well, we have nothing but resentment, hurt, anger, depression. (at least we do on our side)

There has been to many bad things between everyone and I am not entirely sure things can be fixed. I am trying to be as honest with you as I can here and trust me, it would be easier right now for me to sit here and blast the hell out of you, but I am not going to do that. I am sitting here with a calm mood right now in case you don't get that tone from this letter.  I am still working though a lot right now and I am not in a good place, our daughter is in a worse place. 

Even if we all were to try and work things out, there is an issue that is just never going away and that is our daughters situation. I just can't betray her Scott. She is my first concern over anyone else. This is part of being a parent that I take that extremely serious and I am fiercely protective of my children.   

I know you blame me for her finding out Kris views and that she wouldn't support or attend a wedding if there were one in the future, but in Kelli's eyes, this was information that should have come from you and the fact it didn't has upset her.  She is just very glad she didn't grow close to Kris and find out her views later when she would have expected her to be in attendance of her special day and then learn that she wouldn't attend or be supportive.

I chose to tell our daughter this information to prevent future hurt. I am her mother and it was my call, be it right or wrong, I did it because I was protecting her Scott and you are just going to have to live with that and stop holding it against me. I didn't bring this person into her family. 

I don't have any answers right now. I don't know if we could ever be friends, honestly, I just don't know right now. 

I know this will not sound nice and I am not trying to being mean when I say this, just perfectly honest, but seeing you would be too hard, I get very upset and cry still just hearing about you. 

I am sorry that everything came to be the way it is.  I don't wish to see you unhappy weather you believe that or not.  

But I am just not sure I can handle anything more right now.  I can't help that, I really can't.   I can't speak for David, but this is how I feel.

It didn't have to be this way..... it shouldn't have been this way....